Chasing Pavements

The silence is enthralling. I can hear the wind gushing by. The faint lights were approaching with a gurgling roar and putting the scene back into black sporadically. By this time, the dissonance of my transport was already in resonance to my system and was no more a trouble. The trees and mountains were as if humming with a constant pitch. The person behind, had been conversing with his love for about an hour. I’m not eavesdropping type but couldn’t just ignore the frequent acceptance of their love for each other. This definitely brings some smile to my bemused face and makes my eyes watery. The fellow passenger seems to have a tiring day and he took my shoulder as a sub for a pillow. I didn’t mind. There are many more things disturbing me and this barely has any significance. 

I have never been in such a situation; dilemma has been overpowering me since I took off. How will she react? What should I say to her? What if she starts laughing? What if she disagrees with me? 

I look outside the window; the moon has a beautiful shape, reminding me of my crazy friend who loves gazing at the moon, and the valedictory college trip. It was a beautiful journey and the fun we had is still unrivaled. It is all about that trip. That pact we made under a dim street lamp on a path to nowhere, just because we had nothing better to think and do. That moment of glory and freedom as our college was over and we all soon would be professionals.

She was the best thing that could have happened to me. Each moment spent with her was so amusing, and totally drove me nuts. With each passing day I felt I was getting locked up in the chamber of thoughts about her. I knew I was not going to be out of it. This unknown girl came from no-where and was already becoming everything of my life. We are so opposite. She is a typical Aries and me a Capricorn. We will never make a good match. She thinks so deep and I cannot let the kid in me go. She is so neat and me so random. She plans to meet me a week in advance and I agree to cancel later. She shouts, I apologize (Guys don’t have choices right). But there is this compatibility and understanding in being opposite which enhances the friendship.

A, S, V and me, we four were tied to this pact because of the romantic appeal of the place. Its serenity enticed us to come back here again. The home of Dalai Lama, his name itself makes it sound so appealing and perfect for the deed. We were supposed to be back here with our better half or girl friend or with the girl holding supreme importance to your life. A, S and V all three have found their ones. It was just me who is out of league, single and stranded waiting for a shooting star in my life. There is a huge Irony; when the pact was made, I was dating and all three were single and now, HUH!! The time is running by and everyone is waiting for me. Actually they are waiting for her to say YES, but no one knows yet that they are waiting for her in real. She is as much mystery to them, as her decision is to me. I cannot tell the world. Even if I say, that won’t be enough because I didn’t say it to her. That’s what I exactly need to do to be with her. 

She has a knack of having everything perfect in her life. From her cupboard to her attire, and of course the perfect husband to be. I am not perfect. I despise myself tonight. Why am I not so perfect? Why I live life so callously? Why? Being a free-bird was never regretted until today. 

There is no doubt in my mind where she belongs. I don’t need to think it over of being wrong or right. Is everything really meant to change? 

The only thing I fear is the pitch darkness ahead of me leading me nowhere.

!!!! HAPPY BIRTHDAY MOM !!!!!!

Today is the 19th of March. This day every year brings unbounded happiness in my life. This day is the day of the person who is responsible for my existence. This person is the reason for giving me the best gift in the world, my sissy. This day brought into the world the person who makes me smile even in the most painful moments. This is the person because of whom I have grown up in the best possible manner. True, today is my Mumma's bday.

Moms play a role which straighten the undulating path to success for their children. This world wouldn't be so good and worthy to live for if your mom would not have taught you how to look ahead for the positive things in life. She provides you with eternal and uncompromised love. For a boy no girl can be as beautiful as his mother and no soul as pure as her. Albeit not being highly educated, she provides you with the wisdom of life. She's the reason you are alive.Sitting miles apart from my home, at my work place, with so many people around, I still feel lonely. I wish I could have my mother by my side because a hug or two could make my head stable and focused. There are various instances to cite which makes her the best person.

I still remember the parent-teacher meetings where she would go on and on about how naughty I was. In return she used to get a reply, "You have an amazing child who is really good in class". She was left spell bound. Even though she wants to appeal against it she doesn’t because she’s fascinated that her son is appreciated and she is the one who nurtured him. The way mom used to rub my tears when I returned home after getting an amazing wound in the field. The way she still spoon feeds me lunch when I return home for a short vacation. Nonetheless, she's the best cook. No one can make "MURI" ( PUFFED RICE) or Bhelpuri, whatever you are familiar with better than her. My friends are there to acknowledge this S, A, S, K and R.

It amuses me the way she gets paranoid about me having a girlfriend and then teasing me to the core the very next moment. She always says choose your girlfriend wisely and at least she should be more beautiful than me. With the widest grin I can say that’s really difficult. Because every time a friend of mine meets my mom, they say my mom seems to be my elder sister. A fellow passenger in the train totally fainted in awe. My beautiful Mom!

There are endless amazing moments with her and each makes me smile. Tiny droplets fill up my eyes with the thought that I’m away from her. I miss her and her hug and her food. I MISS YOU MOM. HAPPY BIRTHDAY TO YOU! Thanks for making me such a wonderful person. ( Friends don’t doubt, see I am writing a beautiful post for her breaking my blogging jinx). Thank you for everything you have given me in my life. Thank you and thank you. Love you Mom. YOU ARE THE BEST!